about me
name: felicity megan smoak
location: starling city, ca, usa
age: 28
location: starling city, ca, usa
age: 28
you’re SEVEN YEARS OLD when you watch your father walk out of the small house, the only home you’ve ever known as your mother cries and curses him with every fate imaginable. You don’t know you’re life is about to change. You don’t know that it’ll take too many years for you to learn to trust again. You can’t know that watching him
leave will terrify you for far too long.
you’re TEN YEARS OLD when your mothers boyfriend tells you there’s a life outside of the inside of a computer and you don’t really believe him until the first time you beat him at blackjack and the rush you get is similar to the one you get when you figure out how to beat that one line of code you haven’t been able to get past for weeks.
you’re FIFTEEN YEARS OLD and you’re doing this for college, you’re doing this for college, you’re doing this for college. Except sometimes when you’re at the blackjack table ( albeit an illegal one ) and that rush hits you as your chips keep building you don’t ever want to leave. Even when scary looking men figure out you might be counting cards ( you are ), it's so much easier to gamble with money than your heart.
you’re EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD when the love of your life kills himself in prison because of something you did and it takes everything inside of you not to follow him. You graduate, you change your hair, you change your clothes and you run away to a city where no one knows who you are. You keep it that for as long as you can. You don't make new friends. You don't go out. You definitely don't open yourself up to the chance that someone could make you feel the way he did. until...
you're TWENTY TWO YEARS OLD and a dead man comes into your office spewing a story about spilled coffee with a bullet ridden laptop and you don't know that he's about to pull you out of the loneliness you've surrounded yourself with. you don't know that you're going to build the family you never had. you don't know you're going to become the hero you always needed.
you’re TEN YEARS OLD when your mothers boyfriend tells you there’s a life outside of the inside of a computer and you don’t really believe him until the first time you beat him at blackjack and the rush you get is similar to the one you get when you figure out how to beat that one line of code you haven’t been able to get past for weeks.
you’re FIFTEEN YEARS OLD and you’re doing this for college, you’re doing this for college, you’re doing this for college. Except sometimes when you’re at the blackjack table ( albeit an illegal one ) and that rush hits you as your chips keep building you don’t ever want to leave. Even when scary looking men figure out you might be counting cards ( you are ), it's so much easier to gamble with money than your heart.
you’re EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD when the love of your life kills himself in prison because of something you did and it takes everything inside of you not to follow him. You graduate, you change your hair, you change your clothes and you run away to a city where no one knows who you are. You keep it that for as long as you can. You don't make new friends. You don't go out. You definitely don't open yourself up to the chance that someone could make you feel the way he did. until...
you're TWENTY TWO YEARS OLD and a dead man comes into your office spewing a story about spilled coffee with a bullet ridden laptop and you don't know that he's about to pull you out of the loneliness you've surrounded yourself with. you don't know that you're going to build the family you never had. you don't know you're going to become the hero you always needed.