littlelovelymemes:

✰   —  —  —  THE GOOD PLACE SENTENCE STARTERS

‘  hi, guys! i’m broken.  ’
‘  send nude pics of your heart to me.  ’
‘  man, repressing your feelings is great.  ’
‘  i just want to sit and stare at nothing and silently scream for the rest of time.  ’
‘  birth is a curse and existence is a prison.  ’
‘  it’s ancient history? it was happening until twenty seconds ago.  ’
‘  one of the perks of living alone is that i get to just walk around naked.  ’
‘  i’ll miss you too, you sexy skyscraper.  ’
‘  you were already at almost-maximum hotness, but now you look like a sexy, tan rapunzel. ugh, the dream.  ’
‘  well, hooking up with someone with the exact same name, it is kind of a fun, narcissistic fantasy… i could be into it.  ’
‘  so far, i’m the best student. i’m gonna be the velociraptor.  ’
‘  i feel like ‘friends’ in season eight, out of ideas and forcing joey and rachel together, even though it made no sense.  ’
‘  i once got lost on an escalator, so i’m not exactly christopher columbus.  ’
‘  we’ve been through this thousands of times. i mean, can you… just chill out? is that possible?  ’
‘  you deserve to be happy because you are an impressive, thoughtful, and special person… not to mention, you have a rockin’ bod.  ’
‘  any place or thing in the universe can be up to 104% perfect. that’s how we got beyonce.  ’
‘  because of reasons. there are reasons! they exist and i don’t want to explain them right now.  ’
‘  i’m a canyon… full of poo-poo.  ’
‘  they are a couple and i am a third part of that couple.  ’
‘  it’s suddenly very important that i get drunk.  ’
‘  you got dreams in life? that’s lit.  ’
‘  be nicer to yourself.  ’
‘  how can i say no? …can i say no?  ’
‘  i don’t have a house. i live in a boundless void.  ’
‘  i have no idea what’s going on, but everyone is talking and i should too.  ’
‘  be nicer to yourself.  ’
‘  i’m too young to die and too old to eat off the kid’s menu. what a stupid age i am!  ’
‘  is this a game? i go first. i call blue!  ’
‘  aw, man. i wanted to push that button. not cool, dude.  ’
‘  we know everything. i don’t understand much of it, but you know, i know it.  ’
‘  that was my first time as a fashion ‘don’t’ and i did not care for it.  ’
‘  i’m just a girl, towering over a boy, asking him to admit he loves me.  ’
‘  hey there hot stuff, can i get you a cup of coffee?  ’
‘  do you have any feelings like that for me again now?  ’
‘  no, no, no, dude, dude, dude, you don’t have to explain yourself. we are on the same page.  ’
‘  i am revved up to learn, man. my brain is horny!  ’
‘  i used to think about how it’s weird they don’t make pants that are just one big pant leg for both your legs.  ’
‘  i felt bad about what i did. it was a weird feeling. not used to it. didn’t love it.  ’
‘  yeah, i love you. ugh, that’s embarrassing. i feel so itchy.  ’
‘  go fork yourself, you mean giraffe.  ’
‘  who needs a soulmate anyway? my soulmate will be… books.  ’
‘  what do we do? panic? freak? i usually panic, but i am happy to freak!  ’
‘  we’re gonna have assignments and quizzes and papers… it’s gonna be so much fun!  ’
‘  i’m in a perfect utopia and i have a stomachache.  ’
‘  i need to step outside for some air. and… i will not be back. for many days.  ’
‘  the point is, you’re cool, dope, fresh, and smart-brained.  ’
‘  yeah, dude. i’m not a monster… anymore.  ’
‘  i’m good. just hang out with her and name constellations after each other or whatever it is nerds do. i’m fine on my own.  ’
‘  i’m in this. we’re a team.  ’
‘  she makes the bass drop… in my heart.  ’
‘  is that some kind of nerd pick-up line? because it’s only kind of working.  ’
‘  ugh, of course your hugs are amazing.  ’
‘  okay, that’s really specific and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.  ’
‘  yeah, mm-hmm, everything is fine, it’s okay, yeah. i’m fine. so, it’s all fine.  ’
‘  look away! everybody look away. i’m going to keep watching, but you guys look away.  ’
‘  ugh, talking about your feelings is the worst.  ’
‘  i’ve been keeping a secret from you… about you. the thing is, it’s not even harming you and if i tell you i feel like it might harm you. so, uh, ethically speaking, i don’t think i have to tell you.  ’
‘  has anyone ever told you what a drag you are?  ’
‘  ‘bearer of bad news’? uh, i think you mean ‘bad news bear’.  ’
‘  honestly, the best move is to get another dude and just go to town. rebound guy.  ’
‘  but i am happy for them! i am! i am! am i? i am! i am not. i am not. i am not that. i am not happy for them.  ’
‘  i totally get it. i mean, he’s a ding dong, but also a straight hottie.  ’
‘  you want to hear his side? oh, no, no, no. that’ll only slow things down.  ’
‘  no! right? no, it felt like a no when i was doing it.  ’
‘  here’s the thing, i’m nice to you and you’re mean to me. there’s something wrong about that, but i can’t put my finger on it.  ’
‘  how am i doing? oh, well, you know… stomach’s in knots, i’m stress-grinding my teeth, and it feels like i’m being suffocated.  ’
‘  just shove your feelings way deep down, plaster on a smile, and pretend your having fun.  ’
‘  just shove your feelings way deep down, plaster on a smile, and pretend your having fun… just like i do when someone starts talking about their kids.  ’
‘  how do i put this delicately… it’s all stupid garbage!  ’
‘  i’m sorry i dragged you into this.  ’
‘  i’m sorry that i never did laundry… and that i waited until you were about to do yours and secretly tossed mine into the basket to trick you into doing it.  ’
‘  that’s a very, very bad idea. don’t be yourself!  ’
‘  great. yet again, it’s everyone against me because everyone except me is an idiot. why am i the only person who clearly sees what’s going on here?  ’